The Campus

All content by Kaleel Van Voorhees

Comedy Column: Kaleel’s Last Ride

May 7, 2021

LinkedIn announced that they would be giving their employees a paid week off beginning April 5 as “an opportunity to unplug, recharge and avoid burnout.” Management made the decision after noticing...

Comedy Column: Run it back

April 30, 2021

A North Carolina couple was hiss-terically attacked by a rabid bobcat in their driveway. In a video caught on home security cameras, the husband fur-tunately grabbed the big cat, throwing it across their...

Comedie Colonm: Double Trouble

April 23, 2021

In other ~current~ news, a light emitting tattoo-like device was recently revealed and demonstrated by a team of British and Italian researchers, shocking audiences. The device sits atop the skin like...

Comedy Column

March 19, 2021

Recently, Tesla’s CEO Elon Musk and Tesla’s Chief Financial Officer Zach Kirkhorn have changed their job titles to ‘Technoking of Tesla’ and ‘Master of Coin’ respectively. Take one: It seems...

Comedy Column

March 5, 2021

In Winter Haven, Florida, a Peppa Pig theme-park is set to open in 2022 at the Legoland Florida Resort. The theme-park is designed to include themed playscapes, water play-areas, live shows and the infamous...

cOmEDY CoLuMn

November 13, 2020

CHOOSE YOUR FIGHTER (Circle the take you like the best to find your personality summary at the bottom) In Japan, a single crate of 100 Japanese mandarins (also known as mikan), sold for $9,579 (one million...

Comedy Column

November 6, 2020

For Kim Kardashian’s 40th birthday, Kanye West gifted his wife a hologram of her father, Robert Kardashian (who passed away back in 2003 due to cancer). The hologram went on to praise Kim for success,...

Comedy Column

October 29, 2020

Kate Rubins, a NASA astronaut currently working in the International Space Station has announced that she has voted from outer space — the only American currently not present on Earth to do so. The process...

Comedy Column

October 2, 2020

Jeremy Scott, the creative director of Moschino, decided to create this Fall 2020 season’s fashion show to be made entirely out of puppets. A new ‘hands-on’ approach in a COVID-19 era, puppets allowed...

Comedy Column

September 25, 2020

Last Thursday, while searching for sea glass, a 47-year-old man discovered, washed up along a Wisconsin beach, a brain wrapped in tinfoil. The brain— a little larger than the size of someone’s hand,...

Comedy Column

September 18, 2020

A by-product of the COVID-19 pandemic, the national coin shortage has local businesses strapped for cash. A combination of closed doors, slowed mint production and lack of cash flow all around, stores...

Comedy Column

Comedy Column

September 11, 2020

Last Saturday in Texas, numerous boats participating in Trump’s parade sunk on Lake Travis during the festivities. Taking to Twitter, the Travis County Sheriff’s Office confirmed that the station received...

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Kaleel Van Voorhees