Comedy Column

Recently, Tesla’s CEO Elon Musk and Tesla’s Chief Financial Officer Zach Kirkhorn have changed their job titles to ‘Technoking of Tesla’ and ‘Master of Coin’ respectively.

Take one: It seems that they can accomplish anything but a noteworthy title.

Take two: It seems that the rich can afford everything except a full dose of reality.


In an upcoming update, Tinder is set to introduce in-app background checks. In this, Tinder users will be allowed to view public records of prospective matches by entering either their phone number or their name. Tinder’s parent company, Match Group, also owns OkCupid, Hinge, and PlentyOfFish, and is in the process of adding this feature on to these other sites as well.

Take one: In other news, Tinder has lost its all of clientele.

Take two: Luckily, your date has already exposed themselves before they even get to you!!


In Bucks County, Pennsylvania, a mother has been charged with multiple accounts of harassment after cyberbullying her daughter’s own cheerleading team. The mother — Raffaela Marie Spone, created ‘deepfake’ videos and content of the girls – sending photoshopped pictures of the Victory Vipers cheerleaders engaged in ‘naked, drinking and smoking’ activities to the coach, the cheerleaders’ parents, and the cheerleaders themselves.

Take one: I guess I want to ask: what was there to gain from all of this? What was the plan?

Take two: It seems that Spone was able to make everyone look realistic except for herself – hunny…  that makeup job… cartoon-town WHO?