ReproCo: Just the Tips 4-10-14

Fundamentals of dirty talk


Contributing Writer

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Dirty Talk. Some people love it, others can’t stand it. This week’s Just the Tips will walk you all through some of the finer points to making steamy conversations with your sexual partner. Before starting, understand that overall tone and volume can be an effective tool to creating a sexually charged atmosphere as well. Whatever phrase you say can be changed drastically by whispering it in your partner’s ear or saying it across the room with a dominating effect.

The first thing to know is that verbalizing how and what you’d like your partner to do can be incredibly exciting and empowering to your sexual relationship. By vocalizing your needs and wants, you and your partner can be more in tune to each other’s bodies and needs so that you can accommodate them accordingly. The second thing to know is that there are actually two kinds of dirty talk: Soft core and hard core.

Soft core talking will generally be less explicit and will either allude to activities to come or talk about particular body parts in ways that are not entirely explicit. Soft core phrases can be a good starting spot if you’re not comfortable saying more explicit terms to your partner. Starting off with more soft core phrases during foreplay can get you and your partner mood and ready for more explicit phrases later on.

Good soft core phrases include, but are certainly not limited to:


“I want you so bad.”

“I can’t wait to get you home.”

“What do you want to do to me?/Guess what I want to do to you.”

“Your (insert body part here) is so sexy.”


Hard core talking is much more explicit and will generally be more specific to the situation you are in. By using some of the more hard core phrases, you can let your partner know exactly what you want, how you want it, and how much you want of it.

Some examples of more hard core talking are:


“Put your mouth on my (insert body part here).”

“I’m going to work you so hard.”

“Get on the bed so I can I see you naked.”


With any of these phrases remaining confident in what you say is key to creating sexual tension. If you feel a little silly saying certain words or phrases, keeping a confident façade can mean the difference between creating sexual tension and creating awkward silence or laughs. Even if you have to fake it and hold in a laugh, that’s okay! Some of these phrases can be a little weird but using them correctly can add real spice to a sexual partnership.

As always, but especially when using the more dominating phrases, make sure that you are receiving full, verbal consent from your partner throughout the entire sexual process. This is super important and will keep you both safe andhappy while engaging in sexual activities.