Why chivalry is dying Columnist: traditional dating is being driven out by ‘hookup’ culture

Sam Palmer

The culture around us is always changing and something that directly relates all types of students is the newly recognized hookup world. Instead of a person asking someone on a date or bringing them flowers, a simple text and one nightstand will suffice.

Being on the college scene, I have been able to witness this first hand. A man will go out to a party dance on a girl for a few songs then they will go back and “have some fun.”

When did this become the social norm of our culture?

When did men not have to show some sort of affection to women in order to win them over?

All that I have been able to figure out is that the blame falls on both men and women.

In today’s culture, the meaning of chivalry has transformed into a different meaning. I consider it to be the act of respecting ones of the opposite gender.

As a man, I have noticed that this world is a lot different from what our parents and even older brothers, sisters and cousins grew up in. The reason men are not chivalrous anymore is due to the ability to put in minimal effort and still get what they are looking for.

“Girls standards are becoming lower, and because they expect less, guys don’t have to put in as much effort as they used to,” Haley Englert, ’15, said. “Guys go for girls with lower standards.”

It’s true, men are lazy and complacent. We find an easy way to do something, and we do it. Some may say it’s innovative, but in reality it’s pathetic.

But like I said, this is culture shift is not just the man’s doing.

Nowadays if a man decides to buy flowers or chocolates for a woman, they are grouped into a class of creepers.

“It’s not expected, so there is no value and sometimes it is even rejected,” Christian Reese ,’15, said, referring to a chivalrous act.

It’s honestly mind boggling that a simple gesture of buying flowers has so many different interpretations to it.

There have also been circumstances where women find that a man holding a door open for them or walking them home is a sign of weakness.

I have always been taught to hold a door open for someone, not just a woman. It is the polite thing to do. However, if someone does do it for only women, why is that a bad thing?

It has gotten to the point where women see that as a sign of weakness. They want to be treated the same way. I completely agree with treating everyone the same way, but does holding a door open for a woman really have to create so much controversy?

People feel that if a guy makes an effort to be affectionate toward a woman, it will scare that woman away or can sometimes even offend her.

What has happened is that “the chase” has lost its desire. When I say the chase, I refer to the desire for another person, not just a man or woman thing.

Women are creeped out when a man expresses interest in them by giving them flowers, whereas men are lazy and feel that there is no reason to put an effort in.

Men do not see any benefit coming from that. They are cheating a system that is not defined. A system that for the recent years has become transparent.

“I think that it’s not expected, so it’s not standard anymore for both men and women,” Reese said. “I think it’s the same way with girls, they are not expected to be lady like, just like how men are not expected to be gentlemen anymore.”

The last reason, and most important one is that men have developed a new sense of “cool” among themselves. You used to be cool if you had the girlfriend. Boy’s admired the man who had himself a good woman.

Now, for a boy to be “cool” and be a man, they need to get with as many women as they can. A man is cool if he hooks-up with seven different women compared to one.

This new sense of “cool” in the man’s world has transformed the dating scene forever. Women think a man is clingy if he shows too much attention, but a dick when he doesn’t show any.

It is a lose-lose situation for both sides and will take awhile before is gets transformed back to where it was before.