Winter fashion out of style

And so winter is upon us.

Gloomy winter that reaches out its cold, icicle arms towards the population of Meadville, blowing its icy breath upon our faces.

The seasons have changed, and yet some just refuse to change their outfits. Skirts up to there and bare legs, in all their goose–bumped glory, are an all–too common sight that really make the observer question the sanity of our rebellious generation.

Now, I cannot claim status as a fashion critic, or one who really even understands that realm of the world. However, I do understand the basics of human intelligence and survival.

Humans, or most humans , are not particularly hairy compared to other species that inhabit the earth such as the common squirrel. Although it may look like the matted, flea–invested fur of our afore mentioned furry compadre, that fur lining on that six–inch skirt does not have the same purpose as a squirrel coat because luckily, it does not cover your entire body.

By putting fake fur on the hem of a dress that allows the public to see your knickers is not going to make you any warmer.

It only makes you cold.

The only real reason I could could fathom for why women wear tiny skirts in the dead of winter is to do what is encoded in our genes –– to attract mates.

Women of Allegheny College, you are not helping your case.

From a Darwinist perspective, if the wearer of said skirt looks unhealthy (pale, cold, and shivering) then the potential mate would be more likely to turn to a more sensibly dressed female with common sense. If the female cannot dress herself to protect her against the elements, then how can she be expected to keep their potential offspring from hazardous elements?

Men, this applies to you too.

Although you may wear skirts only on special occasions, a more common article of clothing are those ever–popular basketball shorts. If you are coming from the gym, fine. You may say you don’t care what you look like, it’s college isn’t it? Then don’t bother changing out of your pajama pants.
At least they are more interesting.

Perhaps it is an act of defiance towards nature –– the urge to expose one’s self to the elements, tempting Mother Nature to induce a snowstorm. No one is warm and fuzzy when she or she or he is half naked in the snow. And here at Allegheny College, there is snow.

A lot of unexpected, wet, cold, snow.

Six months ago, when the Earth was at a completely different angle in relation to the Sun, that tiny dress and those silky shorts would have been lovely.

Despite my criticism of these outfits that leave little to the imagination, there are remedies for this closet predicament: pants.

They come in many different colors, patterns, and shades of shininess to attract any male or female that otherwise would have been looking at those icy and warmth–deprived legs.

Each and every one of us got into this college, this place of higher learning.

We have the ability to think, despite what some of our attire may depict.
Use that brain and put on some sensible clothing.