X Ξ X caught with Coke® at formal

This article was produced for The Compost, our April Fool’s issue. The contents are entirely fabricated. Any resemblance to real people or events is entirely coincidental.


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At a recent Greek spring formal, three Allegheny students were caught drinking Coke in the bathroom of their formal location.

The Allegheny College soda policy will be used in the judicial period of these students, which permits use of non-Pepsi soda beverage by student, specifically Coca-Cola, since the college signed a marketing contract with Pepsi in 2004.

The contract also stipulates that Pepsi be exclusively offered in McKinleys, Brooks and provided for free to prospective visitors in the Admissions office.

“We are very, very disappointed to hear about the incident,” said the spokesperson of the Allegheny College marketing consortium. “We’re a Pepsi campus and this behavior from students is not cool, bubbly or refreshing at all.”

One of the students caught drinking the beverage, who will remain anonymous here, apologized to the administration for her actions, stating that she felt pressure to get down on Friday.

“The next day was Saturday and then Sunday came afterward,” she said. “I didn’t want the weekend to end and I thought Coke would be a good way to have fun, fun, fun, fun.”

According to the Greek organization’s social chair, everyone was excited for the weekend, weekend, but the festivities were cut short when the students were caught by security making their rounds.

The students would not reveal where the Coke came from.  The managers of the formal location will not be pressing charges but are officially barring all Greek organizations from Allegheny College from renting the space for future formals.

“I don’t think it’s fair that one group made a mistake and they rest of us have to pay for it,” said Valerie Motts, a member of Chi Xi Chi.

Representatives from Coca-Cola Global said they were glad to hear students branching out in their tastes but did not endorse breaching of contracts with their competitors.

“It wasn’t a surprise to hear they preferred our product,” sources said. “These things happen all the time. College kids will be college kids.”

The Greek organization has been placed under probation by the Inter-Greek Council. The students caught with the Coke have been given a choice: 500 hours of community service or hosting prospective students overnight for every single visit weekend until they graduate.