Independent presidential candidate Robert F. Kennedy Jr. criticized CNN on April 3 for allegedly cutting a quote he made about President Biden being a threat to democracy.
“I never said that,” Kennedy said. “But that’s the way it made me look crazy to liberals.” (Real Quote)
He said with the addition of context the quote makes much more sense.
“If they would have kept the quote in its entirety,” Kennedy said. “It would have made much more sense and I would have come off crazy to liberals and conservatives alike.”

USA Today reported on April 3 that a Burger King customer in Willowick, Ohio pulled a gun on an employee after receiving a discount on his Easter morning breakfast.
“I was just trying to help the guy save a few bucks,” the employee said. “It’s bad enough I had to work on Easter, but then having a gun pulled on me. This kind of thing never happens at the Arby’s next door.”

While most NFT brands have fallen on hard times after a collapse of the market last year, there is one outlier.
The brand Pudgy Penguins and the company that peddles them, Miami-based The Igloo Company, are now thriving.
They have survived by selling physical versions of their NFTs, according to Forbes on March 30.
Who would have thought that when people buy something, they prefer to be able to physically touch it.
Reuters reported on April 4 that New York City Mayor Eric Adams is defending the city’s use of an artificial intelligence chatbot that gave business owners advice that, if followed, would involve breaking the law.
“I don’t see the issue — it’s giving the same advice I’d give to anyone who owns a business,” Adams said. “There’s no issue with an employer taking a cut of their worker’s tips or for not giving notice on schedule changes.”

Ty Cobb predicted on April 3 that the 11th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals could ultimately decide to remove Judge Aileen Cannon from the mishandling of a classified documents case involving Donald Trump, according to The Hill.
This begs the question: Why in the world should anyone care what a Baseball Hall of Famer and former center fielder for the Detroit Tigers from 1905-1926 has to say on the matter?

Violinist Nicholas Kitchen believes he has unearthed a code that was hidden inside the original musical manuscripts of Ludwig van Beethoven, according to The Atlantic on April 4.
“It’s so hard to get your hands on these manuscripts. I can’t believe what I’ve found,” Kitchen said. “I’ve successfully identified numerous degrees of dynamics.”
Dynamics are the range of volume that music notes can be played.
“I believe these degrees can help musicians perform Beethoven’s work as he wrote it,” Kitchen said. “So far I’ve discovered 23 degrees with the help of a key, not unlike those used to solve ciphers, that is as follows — 867-5309.”

The San Francisco Chronicle reported on April 4 that Stanford University has named their new president nine months after the predecessor’s resignation.
“We’ve decided to finally name our new president,” said a representative of Stanford. “We understand the delay was a long one, but it’s an important decision to name someone.”
The president will be named President McPresidentface.
“I would have never put my name in the hat had I known I was being named like this,” said the man formerly known as Jonathan Levin. “I don’t see the issue with my name. This seems quite odd, but as long as I can cash my paycheck I suppose it’s alright with me.”

A total solar eclipse transpired on April 8. Meadville was fortunate enough to be within the path of totality.
There was worry from residents about their pets looking at the eclipse and damaging their eyes.
“I was worried about my dogs catching a glimpse and hurting themselves,” said a Meadville resident. “Thankfully, I was informed that dogs can’t look up.”
Experts from the college corroborated the idea.
“Hopefully people weren’t overly worried about their pets,” said an Allegheny professor. “They physically cannot look up. The only worry pet-owners most likely had is that their pets may have prematurely gone to sleep during the peak of totality.”

DISCLAIMER: All quotes are fictitious unless noted otherwise.