CHOOSE YOUR FIGHTER (Circle the take you like the best to find your personality summary at the bottom)

In Japan, a single crate of 100 Japanese mandarins (also known as mikan), sold for $9,579 (one million Japanese yen) last Thursday at an Ota Market auction, based in Tokyo. The mandarins came from Ehime Prefecture, grown with ‘three suns’: the real sun, the reflected light from the stone walls of the ‘terraced fields’ and the reflected light from the sea.

Take 1: For a second, I thought this expensive orange report was a cult biography on Donald Trump’s birth.

Take 2: Talk about vitamin ~sea~

Take 3: I mean, during a pandemic, now is the time to concentrate (fruit for thought!).

Ring, a company that creates video doorbells and house security gadgets, has received 23 reports of their 2nd Generation Video Doorbells catching fire (some causing property damage) and eight reports of minor burns inflicted from those fires. Now recalling hundreds of thousands of doorbells sold between June 2020 and October 2020, fires have been sourced from improper installment.

Take 1: Rumor has it Ring will soon announce its next gadget— ‘smores to go’, where you can roast your friends and have a nice snack, when you hang out on the front porch.

Take 2: I, like the doorbell, will also explode, if not properly installed. Be-careful whose buttons you push these days. Smh.

Take 3: I think I’ll keep mine so I can have a truly de-lightful entrance 😉

This past Tuesday, Pizza Hut has announced that it will be introducing plant-based meat pizzas in a partnership with Beyond Meat, using a blend of garlic, fennel seeds, and paprika to mimic the taste of sausage. Along with this announcement, there will also be two new pizza options using Beyond Meat— ‘Beyond Italian Sausage’ and the ‘Great Beyond’.

Take 1: This is definitely a cover up from the fake meat they’ve been using all along. I can tell.

Take 2: Using the name ‘beyond meat’ will set these guys up for millions of memes that will take things ‘beyond necessary’. I’m so excited omg.

Take 3: #unitedsteaks for lyfe.

The Verdict:

Mostly 1’s: You are a wildcard. Like your playlist on shuffle.

Mostly 2’s: I bet you watch cat videos and say things like ‘aww such a good doggo’.

Mostly 3’s: You’re a psychopath, just like me <3