BY CHIEF BIG RED

Students are mourning the loss of their favorite gator after a tragic incident occurred in the Wise Center last Tuesday.

Chompers, Allegheny’s beloved alligator friend who always never failed to bring pep to school functions, suddenly attacked a female student on a gym-owned treadmill in the early afternoon. After biting her arm, Chompers sprinted across the gym, grabbing a freshman male who was shooting hoops. Chompers bit the student’s leg and went on to attack several other unsuspecting individuals working out in the Wise Center before animal control SWAT teams entered the scene and took control of the situation.

In a much-disputed decision, Chompers was deemed unfit to interact with students and was put down Wednesday evening at a local veterinary hospital.

Chompers will forever be remembered as a massive, playful, and vivacious member of Allegheny’s community. His somewhat-creepy grin, wide eyes, midriff-baring T-shirt, four-fingered hands and his passion for making sports spectators feel uncomfortable with his unexpected hugs will remain clear in our memories for years to come. A memorial service to honor Chompers’s memory will be held on Saturday at 4 p.m. in Ford Chapel.