By CASSANDRA DELLAS
Contributing Writer
To fake it or not to fake it, that is the question.
Having an orgasm is a wonderful experience. But for many women (and men!), reaching that mounty-peak can be a difficult experience with a long term partner and even more difficult with casual hookups.
If you’re enjoying the company of a partner and realize that your orgasm isn’t imminent and want to spare your partner’s feelings or are at the point that you want it to end, the question of whether it’s better to fake it or not arises.
If you plan on having sex with your partner again, I would suggest not faking it for the sake of future sexual experience. While it might be helpful in the moment, in the long run it will be more beneficial to stop your partner and either let them know what they can do different or that you should maybe try again later.
This might seem like a difficult conversation to have but by sparing your partner’s feelings now, a larger argument may happen later because you were not being truthful. It will also be beneficial to you to be honest so that your partner does not have a false sense of what you like. By being honest, he/she can avoid certain moves that are not pleasurable and then focus on something that can be beneficial to the both of you.
If you do not plan on having sex with this particular partner again or just do not care about future experiences with them, then faking an orgasm may actually be the better option. Because let’s face it, maybe you’re too tired to have a conversation with your partner. Maybe you’re with your regular partner but just have a meeting in the morning or want to get on with your day.
In any case, if you feel that you really would like to fake an orgasm then don’t feel ashamed of not actually reaching it. Not every sexual experience has to end in an orgasm anyway. Although reaching that point is the reason that many people engage in sexual activities, it can also be enjoyable to just allow your body to experience sex without the pressure to orgasm. Every body is different and needs to be treated as such.
The bottom line is that if you really want to fake it, fake it. It is your sexuality and you should not feel judged because you want to fake an orgasm or two. Just try and take precautions so that you are not faking your orgasms simply for the sake of your partner and forgo any potential enjoyment yourself.
Sex and pleasure should be mutual and you should not be continuously sacrificing your pleasure for the sake of your partners (unless that’s what you’re into, of course).
As always, stay safe with all of your sexual endeavors and don’t forget to join ReproCo this Saturday at our late night event, Sex (ed) Fest!