Reuters reported on Feb. 23 that the Christian Democratic Union has won over 28% of the vote in the German elections, with the Alternative for Deutschland coming in second, garnering over 20% of the vote.
CDU leader Friedrich Merz has said he will not enter into coalition talks with the AfD.
I’d like to congratulate Merz on refusing to engage in a coalition with alleged fascists, and I’d like to ask the over 20% of Germans who voted for them if they remember how awful it was last time fascists got a taste of power?
Christopher Bell rallied for an overtime win Sunday at Atlanta Motor Speedway, capturing the Ambetter Health 400 for his 10th career NASCAR Cup Series victory, according to USA Today on Feb. 23.
“My teachers always used to say ‘the bell doesn’t dismiss you, I do,’” Bell said. “Now it’s my turn to use that.”
CNN reported on Feb. 23 that Apple needs the iPhone 16e to be a hit.
“This thing has got to be huge or we’re ruined,” an Apple employee said. “We already tossed out the 16a, 16b, 16c and 16d. If this fails we can’t put out a 16f.”
CBS News reported on Feb. 21 that the New York Yankees are changing their long-standing facial hair policy and will let players and coaches have “well-groomed beards” from now on.
This begs the question, what Yankee looked that bad without a beard that they changed the rule?
The Trump administration’s cuts to the federal workforce affect the World Trade Center Health Program, putting the health of 9/11 first responders at risk, according to ABC News.
Are people meant to be surprised that he doesn’t care about those affected by 9/11? Did people expect better from the man who called into a television station on 9/11 and said about his own property, “40 Wall Street actually was the second-tallest building in downtown Manhattan, and it was actually, before the World Trade Center, was the tallest—and then, when they built the World Trade Center, it became known as the second-tallest. And now it’s the tallest” (Real Quote).
The Quad-City Times reported on Feb. 22 that a Parks and Recreation job fair will take place at the Muscatine Municipal Golf Course.
“I’ll go but the whole thing seems shady,” said a Muscatine resident. “I thought Parks and Rec ended in 2015.”
AP News reported on Feb. 21 that Steve Bannon is accused of doing a straight-arm Nazi salute at the Conservative Political Action Conference but says it was just “a wave.”
I get it. That was just a wave and Adolf Hitler was just a painter.
The United States Senate has adopted a “Plan B” budget as the GOP seeks billions for border security, according to the Pennsylvania Capital-Star on Feb. 22.
What a development. The GOP finally supports Plan B.
The New York Times reported on Feb. 24 that NASA has given the ‘All Clear’ for the asteroid that seemed to threaten to collide with Earth in 2032.
“You’ve got to be kidding me,” said an amateur astronomer. “The asteroid is clear now? How are we supposed to track an invisible asteroid?”
DISCLAIMER: All quotes are fictitious unless noted otherwise.
