USA Today reported on Feb. 5 that people involved in anti-Trump rallies around the U.S. are feeling galvanized.
“I feel ready to help with some construction,” one of the protestors said, “maybe even some irrigation.”
The Baltimore Sun reported on Feb. 5 that the replacement for the Key Bridge that collapsed into the Patapsco River in March will be Maryland’s first highway cable-stayed bridge.
“Cable is the way to go,” said a Maryland Transportation Authority official. “We’ll be able to get anywhere from 30 to 70 channels with this new design.”
The Meadville Tribune reported on Feb. 5 that the former Cookie Walk in Meadville will now be going by a new name: the Sweets & Treats Walk.
“I’d be lying if I didn’t say I’m a bit disappointed,” said the owner of The Whole Darn Thing Sub Shop. “I was really hoping they would rename it to the Meats & Sweats Walk so we could get an influx of customers.”
The public will soon get additional opportunities to weigh in on the future of the Erie Coke property at the foot of East Avenue, according to The Erie Times-News on Feb. 6.
“I’ve got some thoughts for sure, I have a few plans on what we could do with all that coke,” said an Erie resident. “I could just take it. Just give it to me. I’ll take care of it all, no need to get anyone else involved, like the cops or anything like that. You’re not a cop right?”
The Pittsburgh Tribune-Review reported on Feb. 6 that the Pittsburgh Pirates are signing veteran outfield Tommy Pham to a 1-year, $4.025M contract.
“What a Phamtastic signing,” said Pirates owner Bob Nutting. “Hopefully fans will see this as a solid signing to address gaps in the current roster and not a signing that’s akin to putting a bandage on an amputation.”
In a blockbuster trade that figures to impact the Western Conference balance of power for years to come, the Lakers, Mavericks and Jazz completed a three-team trade that sends Luka Doncic to Los Angeles and Anthony Davis to Dallas, according to ESPN on Feb. 2.
The Lakers received Doncic, Maxi Kleber and Markieff Morris from the Mavericks. Dallas acquired Davis, Max Christie and the Lakers’ 2029 first-round pick. The Jazz received Jalen Hood-Schifino, the LA Clippers’ 2025 second-round pick and the Mavericks’ 2025 second-round selection.
Lakers General Manager Rob Pelinka is either the world’s best con man or Mavericks General Manager Nico Harrison is actively trying to get himself fired.
The Oregonian reported on Feb. 6 that the Portland Trail Blazers sat out an active NBA trade deadline.
“This is ridiculous,” said an upset Trail Blazers fan. “They might as well change their name to the Portland Laggards.”
Politico reported on Feb. 5 that Democratic polling finds Elon Musk is unpopular.
Water is wet.
The Hill reported on Feb. 6 that President Donald Trump suggested CBS News’s “60 Minutes” be taken off the air after the program released a transcript of an interview it aired last fall with former Vice President Kamala Harris amid a federal investigation into the broadcast.
So much for freedom of speech I guess.
NBC News reported on Feb. 6 that Casey DeSantis is considering running for Florida governor in 2026, as her husband and current governor Ron DeSantis faces term limits and cannot seek re-election.
Glad to hear that Florida has the potential to become an ass-backward monarchy.
The Arizona Republic reported on Feb. 4 that a recent decision by the federal government to reimburse tribal providers for some traditional healing through state Medicaid programs in California, Oregon, New Mexico and Arizona means Sage Memorial — a hospital funded by the nonprofit Navajo Health Foundation — in 2025 could begin receiving money for the sacred Navajo traditional healing services that Jim has been growing at the hospital since June.
Just in time for GOP cuts to Medicaid.
DISCLAIMER: All quotes are fictitious unless noted otherwise.