The year is 2020. The Kansas City Chiefs, off the back of a red-hot offense, roll into Super Bowl 54 to face off with the San Francisco 49ers. The game will be officiated by Bill Vinovich.
The year is 2021. The Kansas City Chiefs roll into the Super Bowl to face off against the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, commanded by Tom Brady. The game is officiated by Carl Cheffers. Kansas City implodes and Brady secures his 7th ring.
The year is 2022. The free world relaxes, as the Los Angeles Rams beat the Cincinnati Bengals in a game officiated by Ron Torbert. Joe Burrow is tragically condemned to the same fate as Dan Marino.
The year is 2023. The Kansas City Chiefs make it to the Super Bowl and face off against the Philadelphia Eagles. The game is officiated by Carl Cheffers. Kansas City wins by three. The winning kick was enabled by a widely-criticized officiating call. Personally, seeing the Eagles lose is nice.
The year is 2024. The Kansas City Chiefs have made it to the Super Bowl, and will battle the San Francisco 49ers. The game was officiated by Bill Vinovich. The Chiefs won by three in overtime. They didn’t let Taylor Swift hoist the Lombardi. Some people will find this comment to be a non-sequitur, I would point to how angry it would’ve made millions of people, as evidence of how funny that would’ve been.
The year is 2025. The Kansas City Chiefs have tripped and stumbled their way into the playoffs, and then to the Super Bowl. Every opponent they have faced has let themselves be dragged down to the Chief’s level, where they lost. They will face the Philadelphia Eagles. The game will be officiated by Ron Torbert.
The year is 2026-
It would be funny, if nearly every game they’ve played this season didn’t have 2-3 bad calls, along with Patrick Mahomes flopping like a fish every time someone bumps him. There is something very interesting about the Chiefs, in that I would contend them to be the boringest, winningest team in the league. They have a very good coach, a quite good quarterback, and a core of players which are good enough with one or two stars. Undeniably, a championship-caliber team, etc. etc.
I would contend that it’s because at this point, it’s practically an expectation for the Chiefs to win. I don’t think that it’s a coincidence that ‘the NFL is scripted’ conspiracies have aligned with the rise of private equity in the NFL, the rise of sports gambling across the nation and the amount of refball allegations the Chiefs have faced.
I would need to do a far more analytical and data driven analysis of the entire season, to give an argument based 100% in facts. So, consider this a 50/50 on facts and vibes.
I don’t think the NFL is rigged. I think the NFL has a “problem.” Did you know being a referee for the NFL is effectively a part-time gig? Did you know that the NFL has been slower than almost any other sports league, in adopting proper data-driven officiating, like using sensors with a chip in the ball to check the motion of the ball. Soccer’s done it for years. Instead, the NFL still relies on a handful of guys, a trusty chain and a bunch of high-speed cameras. Combine that with the rise of sports gambling, as endorsed and pushed by the NFL, and platforms like YouTube — it means there is an environment where every officiating mistake starts getting shared instantly. This is a problem the NFL should’ve sorted out, years ago.
But, here we are. The Chiefs are in the Superbowl, and if I go on YouTube, I can pull up compilations, multiple minutes long — of every officiating ‘mistake’ made in their favor. Is it any surprise then, in that environment, that many people mentally check out when watching that team? The baseline assumption is that the Chiefs will get bailed by a call, then make a game-winning drive at the last minute. Like a script. Because it happens, or feels like it has happened, almost every game this season. The fact the problem is this bad should be a condemnation of the NFL and its officiating body.
Don’t be surprised if this Super Bowl features multi-minute long videos posted right after the game ends, of every penalty called for no reason, or missed call or both.
Their opponent will be the Philadelphia Eagles. The Eagles have gotten here by, to use runningback Saquon Barkley’s own words, “Running it down everyone’s throats…” it’s a style of football that many analysts had considered outdated, and I am personally a huge fan of. What I am, if the prior article did not show enough, is also a Commanders fan, so, you know, I’m not exactly in the Eagles corner.
With that being said, I really don’t want the Chiefs to win this season either. I have gone from, over the course of the past year, really not caring about the Chiefs at all, to specifically disliking Mahomes. Travis Kelce is a wonderful person, really, the rest of the Chiefs team, totally deserve to be happy, no hard feelings. Mahomes is a person who is gleeful when winning, and an arrogant, whiny asshole when he loses, so I would rather see him not get any more rings. Mahomes is the Joey Logano of football, and if you get that, congrats you can get a point.
Statistically speaking, the Eagles are far and away the better team. The Chiefs have gotten here, mostly off of splash plays in between their opponents playing down to them, and enough official interference to nearly single-handedly popularize the idea that sports gambling is influencing outcomes.
55-45 Eagles favor. I hope they don’t lose. Maybe a meteor could hit the field?