Two years and two months ago, a bright-eyed freshman submitted his second-ever article to The Campus. It was a review of the new movie “Sonic the Hedgehog” — Sega’s first real foray into major motion pictures. Since then, he has been biding his time, rising through the ranks of staff, and reminding the rest of the staff about once a month that he would be writing a review for any potential Sonic sequel film.
Now, as the Editor-in-Chief, it is my duty and honor to bring you my hardest-hitting journalistic endeavor to date: my review of “Sonic the Hedgehog 2.”
A bit of background: I went to see the original Sonic movie because my partner decided to spend Valentine’s day at home instead of having a romantic dinner in Brooks with me. My friends and I went expecting a mediocre film that would at least fill dead space in the evening. What we discovered was a film so awful, it became a standard of excellence to which we hold up all bad movies. I’m excited to say that Sega has not only perfected, but built upon their so-bad-it’s-good formula.
The sequel picks up a short time after the initial film’s ending, with Sonic fully committed to a superhero role. Some of the opening shots placed Sonic in poses reminiscent of Batman, which fueled a very particular type of ironic humor, as I had sat in the same theater a month prior to see “The Batman.”
Sega completely committed to making fun of modern superhero films with this entry, as they even created their own version of the now-famous Marvel “title crawl,” where images of comics and video games morphed into a Sega logo. Then, with the exact same text-sandwiched-between-two-lines format, presented the words “original film.” Picture a cheap knockoff of a Marvel movie opening. Got it? That’s it.
The plot was once again irrelevant to the entire movie, and I can say with near certainty that the writers were completely aware of this. That being said, this movie was a race between two teams — Sonic and Tails versus Eggman and Knuckles — to retrieve the master emerald, which is basically the sonic equivalent of the Infinity Gauntlet.
Actor Jim Carrey, who plays Dr. Eggman, continues to carry this franchise. I said it once and I will say it again: I have no doubt the director gave Carrey free rein on the set and Sonic One and Sonic Two were the byproducts.
There were a lot of pop culture references within this film, some of which were subtle nods to actors’ other work — Sonic, for instance, does a vocal trill unique to Jean Ralphio, Ben Schwartz’s character on “Parks and Recreation” — while others references were striking social commentary. I audibly cackled when Sonic shouted, “make sure you get your shots, Eggman!” as Carrey has recently expressed negative views on vaccination.
Oh, and of course there was flossing again. And, yes, I did once again visibly cringe.
Another highlight of the film was Eggman’s assistant, Stone. In the sequel, we first meet Stone in the coffee shop he opened in order to bide time for Eggman’s return. Never once in my short life have I seen more overtly homoerotic subtext portrayed through latte art. If your crush doesn’t make latte art of the two of you surrounded by hearts, don’t strive for world domination with them at your side.
As was the case with the previous movie, the writers for Sonic 2 incorporated a lot of moments I have dubbed “What the hell?” moments. Some of my favorites were when a priest pulled a gun out of his bible, when Knuckles gets run over by a car, and when Carrey shouted “I’m going to enslave humanity!” for literally no reason
This film is absurdist to the extreme. It isn’t deep and philosophical, it isn’t trying to explore the intricacies of bipedal talking hedgehogs, it’s just goofy characters being goofy and it is absolutely fantastic. That being said, I will never emotionally recover from hearing Sonic call James Marsden “daddy.”
At this point, I’ve buried the lede, but I feel like I shouldn’t entirely heap boundless praise on this film. The visual effects were jarring at some points, and — as previously mentioned — the plot was pretty dry and followed the modern superhero film trope of, “Oh no! We have to find the all-powerful McGuffin before the bad guy, except they got it first and now we have to defeat the all-powerful entity.”
If you’re looking for something fresh, you won’t find it here. But if you’re able to lower your expectations for cinematic novelty and embrace a childlike desire to see funny stuff happen — which, in my opinion, everyone should be prepared to do at any moment — you’ll fit right in.
Oh, and when I said I would write a review for any future Sonic movie at the beginning of this article, I mean any. I’ll see you all in a few more years.