If you had told me my freshman year that I would be a gym freak by the end of my senior year of college, I would’ve laughed, been in complete denial and told you to stop making up lies about my future. But as I sit here in Grounds For Change with my creatine concoction just inches from my hands, I have come to reflect on my journey and just how much I have changed. Coming from Houston, Texas all the way to Meadville, included lots of new experiences. Houston is as flat as a pancake, and you cannot go anywhere substantial without a car. It’s safe to say the first walk back from downtown Meadville more than gassed me my first August here.
Fast-forward to the end of sophomore year, and I felt like everything that could possibly go wrong, did. A combination of some unexpected personal events and a toxic home environment pushed me to some pretty dark places. Other unhealthy coping habits became my escape from my reality. I literally could not handle the present moment and all my strong emotions that came from it. Until one day I had an epiphany: I could either bed rot and entertain some not great ideas, or I could go on a run. And I ran. And ran. And ran until I decided to stay on campus the summer of 2023 to get away from home before studying abroad in Jordan.
That summer, I ran over 100 miles. I still am blown away that I accomplished this and it still feels unreal that I did. I would wake up at 6:15 a.m. to be outside by 7 a.m. at the absolute latest, run three kilometers, shower for work at 8:30 a.m., go to work as a Gator Guide until 4 p.m., go to the gym straight after, run a mile and then lift weights. Locked in does not come close to whatever I was on during those months.
My workout journey continued into my time abroad in Amman. I kept my lifts and cardio consistent and got to experience a women’s only gym for the first time. I was so proud of the work I had already put in over the last few months and felt I owed it to myself to keep going, no matter where I was in the world. I actually met some of my friends in Jordan at the gym. The women that worked there even remembered my birthday.
That brings us to the current moment, almost two years later. Consistently incorporating the gym into my life has been the best thing I have ever done for myself. There is a massive difference in my mental health and it has helped to bring so much more peace into my life. It feels like a switch has been completely flipped, and I give myself more grace now.
It is so gratifying to have tangible goals become achievable because of work that I did for myself. The ability to push my body to its limits is to know what I’m truly capable of, is to fully understand the privilege I have to be in a mobile body, in a working and healthy body. It reminds me that I am so much stronger than I believe I am, that progress is not linear, that consistency produces results and that there are many different ways to reach a goal. It is time set aside for me to be with me, in a space that I can enter both alone or with friends.
It is one thing to see yourself succeed. It is another to see your friends succeed alongside you. It warms my heart to know that several of my friends have also gotten into the gym because of my progress, and I am so proud of them.
Lifting has also helped me to feel like I have more stability in my life. Having a consistent routine, one that stays the course despite the chaos of everything else in my life makes the chaos easier to handle. You can imagine how having two weeks of mandatory rest after an emergency appendectomy last year made me beyond restless.
Which brings me to this: if you are thinking about starting some kind of intentional body movement, whether it’s pilates, running, lifting (my personal favorite), walking, yoga, bouldering, biking, joining sports clubs and anything else, do it. There is almost nothing to be lost. Why are you waiting to live your life? To be conscious of the absurd randomness of life and the miniscule blip of time we are here. You are here now! Now!!
Everyone is capable of change. So are you. It may feel scary to change and scary to trust yourself. So do the scary thing and trust yourself. It will lead you farther than you can imagine.