On Sep. 17, 2018, I was abruptly woken up by a phone call that shattered my world in a split second. I can still hear the tone in my dad’s voice when he told me my grandpa had passed away. For the first time in my 20 years of life, I was left speechless, hopeless and completely disoriented. I had lost my best friend.
Unable to speak or comprehend what I was feeling , I picked up a pencil and a sheet of paper and I wrote a letter to the person I wish I could have — has a chance to talk to one more time my grandpa. As a way to help my mom mourn the loss of her father, I gave the letter to her to read. Five days later I was reading the letter as a eulogy. That was my goodbye.
People often find themselves wishing they had one more minute, one last phone call, a chance to say “I love you” one more time — I know I did. No one truly knows what to say to someone who is mourning the loss of a loved one to make the situation easier.
In all reality, everyone mourns differently and at their own pace, so healing on your own without the help of others can often be the only way to feel complete again. Nothing is wrong with not being alright, but there are ways to find a light at the end of the tunnel, because there is a light. That is why I write.
Everyone reacts differently when they hear that someone dear to their heart has passed away. No matter what the reaction is, nothing can ever prepare you for the rush of emotion that pummels you in an instant.
People may lash out with great resentment, or they may shut the world out in disbelief. Similar reactions can come from any type of situation in life. You may be in a heated argument with your mom, you may have lost the biggest game of the year or you may have failed your final exam, leaving you angry and distraught with no idea how to get your emotions out. My advice to you would be to write.
When it seems like there is nowhere left to run, and the ground seems to be crumbling beneath you, grab a pencil and some paper and let go of everything inside of you that needs to be said. Holding in stresses and anxieties not only will hurt your overall well-being, but it will also slow down your healing process, making a difficult situation seem impossible. Writing is a way for you to express yourself in a productive way, while also creating a calming atmosphere to slow down a world going in fast forward while you are stuck in quicksand.
In times of anxiety, heartbreak, and disbelief, let your writing become your safe haven, and in turn it may liberate you from the theoretical chains that is your life in that given moment. At these moments you have a choice — to let life get the best of you or make the most of your life, and through writing and expressing yourself you just might feel free enough to let the heartbreak, anxiety and stress mold you into a much stronger version of yourself.
In a society that preaches self-empowerment, there is no better way to feel secure in yourself than to make your feelings and emotions a part of history. When words hit paper, no matter what emotion is attached, they are preserved and can be used in any way you feel comfortable using them. Your words can be used for personal therapy or to assist those around you as well. The power you have at the tip of a pencil has no limit and provides an opportunity to change the way you view yourself and the world around you.
In those times of heartbreak or love, sadness or hopefulness, regret or comfort, take control of your own world. I can honestly say that writing has changed my life for the better. I can look back on Sep. 17, 2018, and see a glimmer of hope through the darkness because I got to say goodbye to my best friend . Writing was my way to find closure. Something as simple as thoughts on a page can go a very long way, just take the time to try.